D3 body, D1 cock
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
