I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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