so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
