I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
