after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
