My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
