Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The adults are the big ones right?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
