he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
