She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize