Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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