We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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