I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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