so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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