I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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