Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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