im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
