evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
