You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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