Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
