I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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