thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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