i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
