But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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