We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
