I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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