Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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