so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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