I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There r osticjed everywhere
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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