She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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