What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
