we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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