is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
