umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
