I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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