I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
wow bdsm is so cute
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
