It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize