Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
