we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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