so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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