Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
