i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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