its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
