it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
