how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
