"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
