Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
