It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
