It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
