I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
