operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
