i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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