She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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