It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
