mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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