Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So. Much. Porn.
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