Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
