i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
