There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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