shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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