shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
