So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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