I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
