$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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