dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
