so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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