This show inspires me to have sex in space
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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