Having a random hookup so left but love u
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
