I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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