talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
